So come on in, relax, have a drink... how about coffee? Specifically, coffee from Mathew's Coffee Shop.
Mathew, the proprietor of said coffee shop, is an Aetherwitch and a friend of Safi and Iseult. He's a minor character, but I've inexplicably latched onto him. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Mathew serves "real" Marstoki coffee, the "best" in Veñaza City... Of course, by "real" I mean fake, and by "best" I mean terrible. Definitely no hearts decorating your latte here.
In the spirit of Mathew's Coffee Shop, I've got some tips on how to make terrible coffee, the kind worthy of being served by Mathew himself.
Serve your coffee in a mug that's on-brand.
Here's a Mathew-approved mug – perfect for sipping your beverage of choice. You can buy it at my Society6 shop, the only official licensed retailer of Mathew's Coffee Shop products (currently). Wink.
Brew coffee beans that have gone stale.
Coffee is like wine or cheese, right? You want a good vintage bean for the best flavor. The older, the better.
Never wash your coffee brewing devices.
Think of your coffee maker like a cast iron pan – you don't want to wash a cast iron pan with soap and water, you want to season it with oil to keep it in good condition. Your coffee maker is the same way. The mineral buildup and coffee residue just help ensure it's working at its best.
Use any old water for your brew.
Bathwater, tap water, any water will work. Don't get too fussy with that filtered water or distilled water – who wants to drink sanitized coffee anyway? Keep it real for a nice earthy brew.
Try letting your coffee sit for hours until it cools.
You can always add some ice to make iced coffee, or pop it in the microwave and heat it back up for a different taste. Easy peasy way to keep things fresh.
Ratios are for jerks.
Just throw in a couple scoops of ground coffee and enough water to fill a cup. Remember, real chefs don't measure. Coffee is an art, not a science. (Bonus tip, in case you want to get fancy: lots of ground coffee + a little bit of water = an espresso!)
And there you have it. Coffee that will make you feel like you're right there in Veñaza City.
Check out all my Truthwitch party posts: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5