Cloudwish by Fiona Wood

Title: Cloudwish
Author: Fiona Wood
Publisher: Poppy
Publication date: October 18, 2016
Rating: ★★★★½

Summary (via Goodreads):

For Vân Uoc, fantasies fall into two categories: nourishing or pointless. Daydreaming about attending her own art opening? Nourishing. Daydreaming about Billy Gardiner, star of the rowing team who doesn't even know she's alive? Pointless.

So Vân Uoc tries to stick to her reality--keeping a low profile as a scholarship student at her prestigious Melbourne private school, managing her mother's PTSD from a traumatic emigration from Vietnam, and admiring Billy from afar. Until she makes a wish that inexplicably--possibly magically--comes true. Billy actually notices her. In fact, he seems to genuinely like her. But as they try to fit each other into their very different lives, Vân Uoc can't help but wonder why Billy has suddenly fallen for her. Is it the magic of first love, or is it magic from a well-timed wish that will eventually, inevitably, come to an end?

A million thanks to the publisher for sending me an advance copy. Cloudwish hooked me from the very beginning and did not disappoint.

While the story itself is compelling (give me the "girl and boy come from two different worlds and fall in love?" trope any day of the week... especially if mixed class or mixed race relationships are involved), I was most notably blown away by how personal it felt and how deeply I could relate to Vân Ûóc and her thoughts and feelings and experiences.

Let me be very clear: Vân Ǔóc and I come from two different backgrounds. I am Taiwanese-American with parents who immigrated to America out of their own free will. They went to college in Taiwan and were able to pursue further education when they moved to the States. They had NOTHING when they came here but they were not refugees by any means. In spite of our differences, I still understood Ván Ûóc as though I were reading my own diary.

Having grown up in a suburb filled with affluent white kids, I know the feeling of being an "other." I understand the social navigation, the responsibilities, trying to measure up and fit in, trying to keep school and home separate, the shame of being part of a different culture, and the guilt that comes from feeling ashamed at all...

But I also know what it's like to balance all of that with dreams. And expectations. I was the English-loving STEM student who spent her lunch hour in the art room working on mixed media pieces or in my sketchbook and tutoring kids who needed physics help after school. The premise behind my AP Studio Art portfolio? Head vs. heart. Home. Belonging. Choices. I applied to college as an engineering major. (And eventually transferred into the humanities.)

So I get it.

How refreshing to see a fragment of my own experiences reflected back at me. (How silly that such a small thing feels "refreshing"—for white readers, this is just a given.) But Ván Ûóc is smart and thoughtful and proud and insecure and observant and dedicated and driven and creative and reflective and funny and socially conscious and politically aware and practical and daydreamy and weird and a typical teenage girl and also not a typical teenage girl at all. She reminds me of myself at age 17. Kindred spirits. I can't help but think that if I had read this book back then, I would have been all the better for it. I could have learned a lot from a girl like Ván Ûóc when I was 17.

But back to the book itself. The story was charming, and the characters delightful and sincere and real. (I'm so glad Michael showed up again. He was my favorite in Wildlife, so I was pleased to see him still doing his thing. I also liked Billy Gardiner—he's kind of a lovable idiot who is courteous and means well and is very polite to parents but is self-assured and arrogant and maybe a little offensive and ignorant because he was born and raised privileged. He reminded me of some of the boys I knew in high school, whom I looked at in very much the same way that Ván Ûóc looks at Billy.)

The relationships are complex and varied—there's friends and then there's school friends, and first love, of course... But you also have a mother/daughter relationship that is riddled with the complexity of culture "clash" and additional baggage, and it makes the interactions feel that much more poignant and sweeping. And the writing was rich and clever—what a voice. It carried me through the pages and left me satisfied but also still wishing I could stay just a little longer.

Books that feature POC characters and are written by white authors can often go awry, but I thought this was done incredibly well. To me it really feels like the author did her due diligence in researching and speaking with many actual Vietnamese people—in other words, letting Ván Ûóc speak her story without it being muffled or slanted by white preconceptions. Does the story rely on certain stereotypes? Sure. But those stereotypes exist and are still relevant today, so I'm happy to see those stereotypes (and their effects/influences) as an important aspect—but not the main focus—of this story.

Anyway. This review has turned into one massive blog entry so I'll sign off here and just leave you with this: Cloudwish is easily my favorite Fiona Wood book by far. I feel blown away and want to flip back to the very beginning and reread it all again right away.

Note to Self (from Melina Marchetta – Part 2)

I saved this little snippet from an old interview with Melina Marchetta, goddess of everything. It's so old that the link to the source doesn't even exist anymore. In the interview, MM talks a little bit about character origins and development. Fun little bit of trivia if you've read and loved Saving Francesca and The Piper's Son, but also just good to keep in mind – that characters can come up out of seemingly nowhere.

"What I also appreciate about Francesca is that it introduced me to Tom Mackee, another favourite. He was included in the first draft as the bully; someone who was not going to be important. But I taught boys that year who began as bullies or were perceived to be and they really surprised me by the end of the year. The developing of Tom as a character got caught up in all of that. I always think he was a bit of a sneaky little bastard hiding in a part of my creative head waiting for the right moment five years later to spring out and demand a novel of his own." – Melina Marchetta

a place on the jellicoe road / Songs for Jellicoe Road

"What's the difference between a trip and a journey?"
"Narnie, my love, when we get there, you'll understand."

( listen on 8tracks )

01 // Crystal New Order
I'm a man in a rage with a girl I betrayed / Here comes love, it's like honey / You shock me to the core

02 // Sunday Bloc Party
When I'm with you I am caught, a pearl in your oyster / Head on my chest, a silent smile, a private kind of happiness

03 // Gold Lion Yeah Yeah Yeahs
We'll build a fire in your eyes

04 // Is There A Ghost Band of Horses
I could sleep when I lived alone / Is there a ghost in my house?

05 // Easy To Love The Jezabels
There it is now, she enters the room / It guts like a fish to see how she's grown

06 // To Build A Home The Cinematic Orchestra
Out in the garden where we planted the seeds, there is a tree as old as me / Branches were sewn by the color of green, ground had arose and passed its knees

07 // The Healing Bloc Party
Calm down, let the world spin round / There ain't no other place to be / Take this lifeline / Skin tears but the flesh will weave back together again, only scars now

08 // Flame Trees Sarah Blasko
Do you remember nothing stopped us on the field in our day?

09 // Your Hand in Mine Explosions in the Sky

Illuminae: A Short Debriefing (Am I Not Merciful?)

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Title: Illuminae (The Illuminae Files #1)
Author: Amie Kaufman & Jay Kristoff
Publisher: Knopf/Random House Children's Books
Publication date: October 20, 2015
Rating: ★★★★★

Summary (via Goodreads):

This morning, Kady thought breaking up with Ezra was the hardest thing she’d have to do.

This afternoon, her planet was invaded.

The year is 2575, and two rival megacorporations are at war over a planet that’s little more than an ice-covered speck at the edge of the universe. Too bad nobody thought to warn the people living on it. With enemy fire raining down on them, Kady and Ezra—who are barely even talking to each other—are forced to fight their way onto an evacuating fleet, with an enemy warship in hot pursuit.

But their problems are just getting started. A deadly plague has broken out and is mutating, with terrifying results; the fleet's AI, which should be protecting them, may actually be their enemy; and nobody in charge will say what’s really going on. As Kady hacks into a tangled web of data to find the truth, it's clear only one person can help her bring it all to light: the ex-boyfriend she swore she'd never speak to again.

Told through a fascinating dossier of hacked documents—including emails, schematics, military files, IMs, medical reports, interviews, and more—Illuminae is the first book in a heart-stopping, high-octane trilogy about lives interrupted, the price of truth, and the courage of everyday heroes.

I have a poor grasp on science fiction.

In the landscape of my mind, SF stands for San Francisco (or Saving Francesca, heyo!), a space opera is basically a musical that takes place in outer space, and a hyperspace jump drive is just another word for a USB stick.

See? Science fiction. Not really my thing. But Illuminae? It           blew me away.

A day may come when I am able to speak intelligently about this book. But it is not this day. This day, I can only describe my thoughts on Illuminae in computer-generated graphical representations.

So. That's what I'm doing. DON'T LOOK AT ME.

00100011 01100010 01111001 01100101 / Illuminae Fanmix

Some books are impossible to talk about – maybe the words don't come, maybe your thoughts aren't cohesive. All you really know is what you felt while reading the words on the page... the grief, the fear, the surprise, the worry, the secondhand heartbreak and love...

I can't figure out a way to share that experience in my own words, so I crafted a playlist to do it for me.

It's thirteen songs that embody my own experience reading Illuminae. These songs are a little bit electronic, a little bit futuristic, unearthly. It's the present-day version of what I would expect to hear in 2575. It represents moments, pages, general vibes. And I threw in that Explosions in the Sky song as a memorial to the people who die in this book. Because they deserve it. Especially that one character in particular. Who I'm still crying about.

Anyway. Thanksgiving is tomorrow – whether or not you celebrate, I hope you're all surrounded by the people you love and who love you back. Here's what I'm thankful for this year: my close-knit family, my privilege, and the fact that I'm not being hunted down by intergalactic terrorists.

"Miracles are statistical improbabilities. And fate is an illusion humanity uses to comfort itself in the dark. There are no absolutes in life, save death."

( listen on spotify )

01 // Beyond Daft Punk (x)
The perfect song is framed with silence / It speaks of places never seen / Your home's a promise long forgotten / It is the birthplace of your dreams

02 // Milk and Cookies Melanie Martinez (x)
Hush, little baby, drink your spoiled milk / I'm fucking crazy, need my prescription filled / Do you like my cookies? They're made just for you / A little bit of sugar, but lots of poison too

03 // Digital Love Daft Punk (x)
Last night I had a dream about you / In this dream I'm dancing right beside you / I don't know what to do about this dream and you / I wish this dream comes true

04 // Fuck Em Only We Know Banks (x)
Did I say / You're all that matters to me anyway / I'd give up everything to see your face

05 // Prophet Pretty Lights (x)

06 // Gifted N.A.S.A. ft. Kanye West, Santigold & Lykke Li (x)
You don't know my mind / Like I've said a thousand times / I gotta stay ahead / Know what I'm fighting for

07 // Remember Me As A Time Of Day Explosions in the Sky (x)

08 // Be Together Major Lazer ft. Wild Belle (x)
Maybe if the stars align, maybe if our worlds collide / Maybe on the dark side we can be together

09 // Waiting Game Banks (x)
What if I never even see you 'cause we're both on a stage / I don't wanna say your love is a waiting game

10 // Thousand Miles Tove Lo (x)
That's when I run / All of these thousand miles to get you back

11 // Light It Up Major Lazer ft. Nyla (x)
We live where the war is raging / Chasing our crazy dreams / Hoping that the bridge won't cave in

12 // The Game of Love Daft Punk (x)
There is a game of love / This is the game of love / And it was you, the one that would be breaking my heart when you decided to walk away / I just wanted you to stay / Me, I just wanted you to stay

13 // Svefn-g-englar Sigur Rós (x)

Things I Learned at the Illuminae Book Tour in NYC

On Saturday I went to an author panel at Books of Wonder with Kendall Kulper (Drift and Dagger), Mackenzi Lee (This Monstrous Thing), Amie Kaufman & Jay Kristoff (Illuminae), and Jon Skovron (This Broken Wondrous World). I was mostly there to see Amie & Jay – it was the last stop of their Illuminae tour, and I have a thing about Aussie authors, and I also have a thing about Illuminae, so how could I resist?

If I were a more diligent person, I would have taken notes and pictures and written down all the questions that were asked, but alas we can't all be Jo from Wear the Old Coat, so instead I've just searched the recesses of my brain to cobble together the most interesting bits from this event.

There were maybe fifty people in attendance, mostly teens, which was good (I always feel kinda squicky when I see pictures from YA book events and the front row seats are filled by adults). There was also a moderator with a very laissez-faire attitude toward moderating (in other words, the best kind of moderator!), which made the panel a lot more interactive... kind of like Twitter, but with more face time and no character limits.

Anyway GOD I'M SO SORRY – I'm really sucking at highlighting the "interesting bits." Let's just jump right in.

A Brief Intermission: Illuminae

Normally I like to highlight snippets and quotes from the books I'm currently reading, but Illuminae has been a treasure trove from cover to cover, and I wouldn't even know where to begin. So instead I'm going to share some of the photos I've been taking obsessively while reading. The book is a goddamn work of art, honestly – I'm so stinkin' impressed with it.



There we are. Isn't it marvelous? I borrowed this from the library and by the time I was a quarter of the way through, I was sure of two things: First, Edward was a vampire. First, the hype is 1000% deserved. Second, I desperately need my own copy of this book. (Which I bought. And which will arrive just in time for Saturday's book signing with Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff.) I am mega excited about the event now! If all goes well, I'll try and do a recap of the event on here next week! xo

A Brief Intermission: Wildlife

I'm very behind on my posting schedule (oops!). But between my last post and now, I've hit my reading goal of 50 books this year, hooray! It's been a challenging few weeks of reading. I finished the first three books in Sarah J. Maas' Throne of Glass series and loved them so much that it was hard to read anything else afterwards. I started a couple new books, read a few pages, put them down, picked them back up, read another few pages, but could never really get into any of their stories because I couldn't stop thinking about Celaena and Rowan and Chaol and Dorian and Manon. (Book 4, please come out sooner!)

Anyway, the first book I've been able to read in its entirety since then is Wildlife by Fiona Wood. My first Fiona Wood novel, in fact. (I accidentally skipped Six Impossible Things, oops!) Full review to come, but I wanted to share these two pars that I loved so much I took pictures to remember.

Isn't this a lovely sentiment? Some relationships are just inevitable... They defy all logic. Every so often as I'm walking through the city, I experience this feeling of being drawn to complete strangers because there's just something about them that's captivating. It's completely senseless, but it's somehow a weird, instinctual thing. This passage reminds me of something straight out of a Jeanette Winterson novel.

This one I just liked because it's something I can relate to – I constantly wish I could skip right over the social norms, the "getting to know you" stage of a relationship. What can I say, I'm a classic INFP with an intolerance for small talk. I'm a sucker for intensity. (This is probably why Michael's my favorite character from this whole book. I hope Fiona Wood writes a story about him someday.)

That's all for now. More regularly scheduled posts coming up soon!

Mini-Review: Burial Rites by Hannah Kent

Title: Burial Rites
Author: Hannah Kent
Publisher: Little, Brown and Company
Publication date: September 10, 2013
Rating: ★★★★★

Summary (via Goodreads):

Set against Iceland's stark landscape, Hannah Kent brings to vivid life the story of Agnes, who, charged with the brutal murder of her former master, is sent to an isolated farm to await execution.

Horrified at the prospect of housing a convicted murderer, the family at first avoids Agnes. Only Tóti, a priest Agnes has mysteriously chosen to be her spiritual guardian, seeks to understand her. But as Agnes's death looms, the farmer's wife and their daughters learn there is another side to the sensational story they've heard.

Burial Rites is best read at a slow pace, where you can linger over the evocative descriptions and the heavy events in Agnes Magnúsdóttir's life (as well as those surrounding her). Hannah Kent describes this book as a dark love letter to Iceland, which sounds about right to me. Everything feels painstakingly researched and written, and although much of it is speculative, it remains plausible enough that you convince yourself all of those things form the hidden truth.

Memories shift like loose snow in a wind, or are a chorale of ghosts all talking over one another. There is only ever a sense that what is real to me is not real to others, and to share a memory with someone is to risk sullying my belief in what has truly happened.

The ending of this novel is inevitable yet shocking. The writing is lush and captivating and the stories that are revealed will haunt you for days and days on end. But it's a beautiful work that has managed to bring Agnes back to life so that we can hear her side of things and remember her differently. In some ways, it's given Agnes a new legacy, where she is more than a murderess, more than an example to would-be criminals. She is a woman whose fate rested in the hands of those who were predisposed to punish. It is a true testament to Hannah Kent's storytelling ability that we walk away seeing her in a more ambiguous light.

Those who are not being dragged to their deaths cannot understand how the heart grows hard and sharp, until it is a nest of rocks with only an empty egg in it. I am barren; nothing will grow from me anymore. I am the dead fish drying in the cold air. I am the dead bird on the shore. I am dry, I am not certain I will bleed when they drag me out to meet the axe. No, I am still warm, my blood still howls in my veins like the wind itself, and it shakes the empty nest and asks where all the birds have gone, where have they gone?

Mini Review: These Broken Stars by Amie Kaufman & Meagan Spooner

Title: These Broken Stars (Starbound #1)
Author: Amie Kaufman & Meagan Spooner
Publisher: Disney Hyperion
Publication date: December 10, 2013
Rating: ★★★★½

Summary (via Goodreads):

It's a night like any other on board the Icarus. Then, catastrophe strikes: the massive luxury spaceliner is yanked out of hyperspace and plummets into the nearest planet. Lilac LaRoux and Tarver Merendsen survive. And they seem to be alone.

Lilac is the daughter of the richest man in the universe. Tarver comes from nothing, a young war hero who learned long ago that girls like Lilac are more trouble than they’re worth. But with only each other to rely on, Lilac and Tarver must work together, making a tortuous journey across the eerie, deserted terrain to seek help.

Then, against all odds, Lilac and Tarver find a strange blessing in the tragedy that has thrown them into each other’s arms. Without the hope of a future together in their own world, they begin to wonder – would they be better off staying here forever?

Everything changes when they uncover the truth behind the chilling whispers that haunt their every step. Lilac and Tarver may find a way off this planet. But they won’t be the same people who landed on it.

Two words. Character. Development. These Broken Stars is chock full of it. It's glorious and magnificent, watching Lilac and Tarver slowly change their minds about each other. Their relationship is the most compelling part of the story, and its development is so well-paced that when you reach the end of the book you just want it to continue on for another 50 pages because their time together feels so hard-earned.

The story is written from two perspectives, but it feels cohesive – kudos to Amie Kaufman and Meagan Spooner. I didn't realize the book was co-authored until maybe halfway through; it was written that seamlessly. It must be the magic of Aussie lit – delicious, intense prose that makes your heart beat a little bit faster.

I'm somewhat disappointed that the next book in the Starbound series is about a different set of characters, because I don't feel that Lilac and Tarver's story is complete, and I don't know how much it can develop if it's told through someone else's point of view. At the same time, I'm glad that Amie and Meagan (yes, we're on a first name basis now, I've just decided) don't seem to be forcing them into a tired, played out, dystopian novel cliche. I'm happy to let them rest, so to speak. To me, Lilac and Tarver's relationship and personal growth are really the core of the story; everything else falls by the wayside.

A Brief Intermission: These Broken Stars

Over the past week or so, I've been slowly reading this monstrosity of a book. I call it a monstrosity because it's a freaking heavy 6x10 hardcover novel that barely fits in my bag and makes my fingers cramp up when I carry it in hand. Ha. Ha. Haaaa. The struggles of a walking life.

Anyway. Should we talk about books, and not the problems I invent for myself?

I'm really liking the slow burn of These Broken Stars so far. It's unexpectedly compelling, which is saying a lot, since I've been reading this on my subway commute to work and at various parks in the city – none of which are particularly great places to read somewhat dark, dystopian novels. Especially when you're easily distracted, like me. On the upside, I'm less likely to cry over characters when I'm in public spaces surrounded by tourists and dogs. So there's that.

I highlighted this quote over the weekend:

There are moments like this when I can actually imagine her at my parents' cottage. I can see her hauling wood with the rest of us, chopping vegetables, going for long walks and calling it entertainment. I think my parents would like her.

It's kind of an odd pick, and maybe doesn't mean much out of context, but still I keep rolling these words around in my head. Lately I've been having conversations with people about the dating scene in New York. I always bring up this Refinery 29 article, how dating is easy because there are so many people around you and so many things you could do, and how it's hard because there are so many people and you're not always willing to commit. And what Tarver says here is so different from all of that... It's about a simpler life, away from everything, from all the distractions and activities that preoccupy us... and it sounds nice, doesn't it? The idea of longs walks, nature, family, someone you love – all of that being enough to make you happy.

Review: Love and Other Perishable Items by Laura Buzo

Title: Love and Other Perishable Items
Author: Laura Buzo
Publisher: Knopf Books for Young Readers
Publication date: December 11, 2012
Rating: ★★★★

Summary (via Goodreads):

From the moment Amelia sets eyes on Chris, she is a goner. Lost. Sunk. Head over heels infatuated with him. It's problematic, since Chris, 21, is a sophisticated university student, while Amelia, 15, is 15.

Amelia isn't stupid. She knows it's not gonna happen. So she plays it cool around Chris – at least, as cool as she can. Working checkout together at the local supermarket, they strike up a friendship: swapping life stories, bantering about everything from classic books to B movies, and cataloging the many injustices of growing up. As time goes on, Amelia's crush doesn't seem so one-sided anymore. But if Chris likes her back, what then? Can two people in such different places in life really be together?

Ever since I finished reading Love and Other Perishable Items, I've been wavering on how I feel about it. On one hand, I love it a lot. It brings to mind favorites like The Piper's Son by Melina Marchetta and, to some extent, Megan McCafferty's Jessica Darling books. On the other hand, it still feels lacking, somehow. Or maybe it's just me who is left feeling empty.

The book is split between two perspectives. Part of the story is told through Amelia, who is young and hopeful and naive. The other part is revealed through pages from Chris' journal, filled with gritty truths, some dark humor, and the reality of a life not filtered through a rose-colored lens.

I could have provided strawberries, poetry and orgasms, but James, on the other hand, will provide a house in Vaucluse and a six-figure salary.

In this coming-of-age story, Amelia and Chris are ordinary people who are remarkably likable. Amelia is stuck in a bumbling stage of adolescence – she is socially awkward, giddy, childlike at times, but simultaneously struggling with very complex issues, including family dynamics, gender roles, and disappointing literature. Chris, in contrast, is legally an adult and participates in his fair share of adult activities, including alcohol consumption, drugs, and lots of sex. He's melodramatic, self-deprecating yet sanctimonious, hopelessly romantic. He lives in quiet desperation.

When I read back over what I'd written, I seriously thought about ripping out all the pages. It was a pretty poor showing all the way through, but when I got to the bit where I was writing out the lyrics from the Dire Straits "Romeo and Juliet" song, I had to rip that out.

But then, I really want to be more honest in this diary than I have been in past ones, so everything else stays in. It's bad enough that I present such a heavily edited version of myself to my friends and family; if I start editing my diary, it will reinforce my already overwhelming tendency to be gutless. But let us never speak of it.

For the record, she really did cry when we made love and said she loved me like the stars above and would love me until she died. But, you know, people say shit in the moment.

Chris and Amelia's relationship is fascinating to watch unfold. They are both caught in an in-between stage and seem to find kindred spirits in each other. What's hilariously frustrating and brilliant is that you actually kind of want it to work out between the two of them. Never mind that they're each in completely different places in life, with different wants and needs. Never mind that it's totally illegal and more than slightly sketchy on paper. They make each other happier and better, and they talk about things that matter, and you just want them together, for Pete's sake!

And yet... it's one of those universal relationship things, isn't it? Bad timing. You can't force something to happen through sheer willpower. The reality of life takes its course, and sometimes it's disappointing and sometimes it feels tragic.

5. Get together with Amelia. Accompany her to her tenth-grade formal. Fruitlessly try to convince her family that I am a perfectly decent chap. Ignore raised eyebrows from family and friends. Content myself with holding hands and kissing. Accompany Amelia on the upcoming round of her friends' sweet sixteen parties. Attempt to smuggle her into bars for my friends' birthday parties.

Unfortunately, for a coming-of-age story, Amelia never really changes in a significant way. She remains naive and idealistic – a true youngster – which is fine, except that she doesn't ever seem to learn anything. She remains enamored with Chris, and her relationship with her family doesn't evolve but for a small degree of increased understanding and disillusionment. In many ways, this book feels more like Chris' story than Amelia's.

All the same, at the end of the day, Love and Other Perishable Items remains a fascinating story. It scrutinizes contemporary feminism. It explores the failures of human nature as we eavesdrop on Chris and Amelia's conversations about fictional characters. It questions what growing up really looks like.

We learn that there's never a single line that we have to step across to enter adulthood. Sometimes we are shaped by unexpected revelations, disappointments, realizations that things aren't always black and white. Other times it's the choices we make that propel us into a new stage of living. Love and Other Perishable Items is innocent and gritty all at once. It never feels flowery or fluffy or unrealistic. It's the quiet but powerful story of imperfect characters who are just trying to find their way in the world. It's a story that lingers.

Review: Graffiti Moon by Cath Crowley

Title: Graffiti Moon
Author: Cath Crowley
Publisher: Knopf Books for Young Readers
Publication date: February 14, 2012
Rating: ★★★★½

Summary (via Goodreads):

Lucy is in love with Shadow, a mysterious graffiti artist.

Ed thought he was in love with Lucy, until she broke his nose.

Dylan loves Daisy, but throwing eggs at her probably wasn't the best way to show it.

Jazz and Leo are slowly encircling each other.

An intense and exhilarating 24 hours in the lives of four teenagers on the verge: of adulthood, of HSC, of finding out just who they are, and who they want to be.

I. Loved. This. Book. Graffiti Moon was filled with all of the things I need/want/adore in literature: thoughtful, funny characters who are simultaneously weird and normal; luscious writing that doesn't go over the top; relationships between people who see the best in each other. Plus, graffiti and art talk! Bonus!

The style itself is reminiscent of Hilary T. Smith's Wild Awake – with its quirky characters who are utterly imperfect but fit so well together – as well as Melina Marchetta's Jellicoe Road, which is likewise filled with compelling relationships and reckless boys and all around flawlessness. I am obsessed with both of these books, so surely that will tell you something about my reaction to this one.

Graffiti Moon is split into three perspectives, which work especially well here. Each character has such a unique, interesting voice that the multiple perspectives feel welcome. First there is Lucy Dervish who, much like her name, is dreamy and lyrical. She has interesting hobbies (glassblowing and staring up at the stars until her life feels insignificant) and interesting goals (to find Shadow). Her thoughts on love and art are the kind of thoughts you want to seep into your brain and contemplate for days on end.

Next comes Ed Skye. Ed is pensive. He's romantic. He's a little bit lost. But there's something in him – not a spark, exactly, but something that resembles embers burning beneath the surface. He feels hopeless, but he's hopeful in spite of himself. Ed has a strong artistic voice that is balanced with pragmatism. His pages are enchanting to read because everything he says sounds significant.

I felt like I needed to run but my skin wouldn't let me. I had this urge to throw cans at the windows so I could hear a noise that sounded like escape.

Finally, there's Leo the poet. Leo's pages are few and far between, but they are powerful. His poems are short and sweet, and by sweet, I mean honest and spot-on and desperate and hopeful and sad. Lucy and Ed are ultimately the heart of the story, but Leo's poems shed some much-appreciated light on what's happening elsewhere. His words provide a richness, a depth, to the story as a whole.

Lucy and Ed's relationship unfolds through candid conversation, which we experience in what feels like real time. We learn about their shared history. We fall in love as they each hold their own in their verbal (and non-verbal, as you'll see below) sparring. There's very much an "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" mentality between Lucy and Ed. It's all the better knowing who Ed is and being able to watch everything slowly unravel. That, my friends, is the right way to accomplish the slow burn. 

I look over at Ed. He's staring out the window giving Leo the thumbs-down. I wait till he's looking at me, then I give him two fingers up. He gives me two fingers back. I give him the middle finger. He gives it back to me. I don't know any more signs, so I make up one. Three fingers. Take that, mister. He sticks up four. I call your four and raise you five. He skips straight to ten and does something with his thumb that disturbs me. I bounce my hands on my lap. Ed bounces his lap right back.

Cath Crowley is great about underscoring key themes. All throughout the book, the idea of "no guts, no glory" prevails. It starts with Lucy and her best friends Jazz and Daisy as they decide to go all-out on their last night of year 12. It extends to Ed and his assertiveness with his future, his assertiveness with the girls he loves... Circumstance is another concept that's well-explored in this book – whether it defines us, whether our choices matter, whether the outcomes of our lives are inevitable. There's a subtle strand of hope that makes its way through the story.

Art is also an important element in Graffiti Moon, and it is woven into the story in such a lovely, effortless way.  Both Ed and Lucy talk about graffiti and glassblowing so conceptually and thoughtfully that my inner art kid is swooning. They don't ever dumb down what art means, and in fact, they consider all these different ways to interpret and absorb it.

Most times I look at Shadow and Poet's work, I see something different from what the words are telling me. I like that about art, that what you see is sometimes more about who you are than what's on the wall. I look at this painting and think about how everyone has some secret inside, something sleeping like that yellow bird.

The writing in Graffiti Moon is simply brilliant. There are so many pages I love in their entirety. The book is a balance of the poetic and the everyday, the lush and the ordinary. That's what makes it all the more special – that there is beauty and art and poetry in the ugly and mundane. Cath Crowley's prose often stretches to the point of overwhelming, but then she manages to reign it all back in.

I do think the conflict with Malcolm Dove is a bit overblown and almost too conveniently resolved. It would have benefited from a more fleshed-out storyline. The ending also seems rushed, especially given that the rest of the book progresses at a more leisurely pace. However, Graffiti Moon remains beautifully written and, despite some minor shortcomings, still feels resolved. This book is ultimately about relationships – with the people you love and with yourself – and that's what comes through, in the end.

Review: Raw Blue by Kirsty Eagar

Title: Raw Blue
Author: Kirsty Eagar
Publisher: Penguin Books Australia
Publication date: June 29, 2009
Rating: ★★

Summary (via Goodreads):

Carly has dropped out of uni to spend her days surfing and her nights working as a cook in a Manly café. Surfing is the one thing she loves doing... and the only thing that helps her stop thinking about what happened two years ago at schoolies week.

And then Carly meets Ryan, a local at the break, fresh out of jail. When Ryan learns the truth, Carly has to decide. Will she let the past bury her? Or can she let go of her anger and shame, and find the courage to be happy?

Let me just preface this by saying how much I wanted to like this book. When Melina Marchetta, goddess of everything, says she enjoyed a book, you must acquire it and read it immediately. But this book was just not for me.

Some of the writing was really lovely. At times, it almost felt as though Melina herself was coming off the pages, although I suspect she wouldn't use so much surf jargon, or say things like, "Oi, mate! Get stuffed." But what do I know? The closest I've been to Australia is a month-long unit in my sixth grade social studies class. Oh, and that Mary-Kate & Ashley witness protection movie. You know the one.

Anyway. Because of all that, I was able to make my way through this book while giving Kirsty Eagar, the actual author of Raw Blue, the benefit of the doubt.

The characters were all promising at first.

There's Carly, struggling with traumatic memories and trying to come up for air. And Ryan, with his own history – fresh out of jail, simply treading water, trying not to create any waves. (Is anyone else as amused as I am by my character sketches, which have somehow turned into swimming metaphors?) You have Hannah, a multi-faceted girl that I'm sure we all recognize from college. And then my personal favorites: Marty and Danny.

This is where things get a little rocky.

Marty, you may have forgotten, is one of Carly's co-workers at the cafe. She strikes up a tentative friendship with him. He's a little bit lascivious; has a drug problem; seems to lack a safe living situation; probably has some history with emotional and/or physical abuse (possibly sexual, as well?).

"But wait," you might say. "I don't remember Marty having much of a storyline in Raw Blue. Am I missing something?"

To which I would answer, no, dear reader. You are not missing anything. In fact, it is the book itself that is missing something – namely, development in any character besides Carly, who, despite everything, still feels very humdrum to me. (Colorless, if you will.)

Pretty much any way you slice it, Marty appears to be a total screw-up. But that's what makes him so captivating – perhaps even more so than Carly herself. Because sure, Marty is a mess, but every so often you get a glimpse of vulnerability in him. And that leads me to believe that, underneath it all, he is a soul adrift. Marty is ripe for redemption, but unfortunately he disappears a third of the way through the book. Lost forever. Sigh. Goodbye to another throwaway character.

And then there's Danny, a 15-year-old multi-ethnic surfer who becomes a bit of a sidekick to Carly. His synaesthesia causes him to associate colors with various environmental triggers. This sensory condition seems to be one of his defining characteristics, which I find to be a cop-out. It's like he only exists to tell us how Carly is really holding up. Is she peach today? No? How about blue? Mauve? Let's just say I don't like when characters are used as shallow plot devices. Throughout the book, Danny felt irrelevant, unreal – the manic pixie dream boy.

I will note, however, that I did like this quote:

"To me, Danny rocking up to surf with graffiti all over his face is magic. I want to tell him that I think he's precious, that the fact he talks to me is a gift. But of course you can't say things like that to people."

In addition to these promising but ultimately disappointing characters, I was also thrown off by the occasional comments from Carly that felt incredibly racist and ignorant and dismissive. Like this one – hard for me to articulate why, but it really rubbed me the wrong way:

"SVU, CSI, CSI: NY. These shows, they’re all about things being done to females and children. If they were full of things being done to say, Asians or black people, well, that probably wouldn’t be allowed... But females and children are okay."

Eurgh. She makes it sound as though Asians and blacks are a whole separate category, distinct from women and children. I just found it really jarring.

In spite of her problematic comment, I do immensely appreciate Kirsty Eagar's thoughtful discussion on rape and men and power. It was much more meaningful and blunt and realistic (be warned!) than in other YA books I've read. Still, in the end, this book was just not my cup of tea. Raw Blue did not feel like a cohesive story. The plot itself seemed to go around in circles; there were too many characters that came and went (such a waste); and I found myself not caring even a little bit about Carly or Ryan. And goshdarnit, I'm still really bitter about Marty.